My brother Dave and Jen got married two weeks ago and it was a very puzzling wedding. You see, Dave runs Dr. Clue, the world’s largest corporate training organization focused exclusively on using treasure hunts as a team building activity. Jen, who has a doctorate from Stanford in economic sociology, has worked with Dave at Dr. Clue and wrote her first hunt when she was 16. It was a match made in heaven. So it’s not surprising that their wedding revolved around working through clues to solve a variety of challenging puzzles.

The fun started long before the wedding. Dave and Jen didn’t send out printed invitations. Instead, they emailed a series of puzzles – one a month for 7 months – giving some details of the wedding. One gave the date, another specified the time, a third revealed the place, and so on. For the less clued-in, a week after each puzzle went out, the answer was revealed.

Among the emails was a pictorial rebuses (where you translate pictures into text then add and subtract letters to spell out the clue –see an example here), a color coded poem, an all-text cryptogram, a stumper featuring car brands, another with movie titles, and a perplexing puzzle with a series of clocks displaying different times. Our whole family had a grand time working through the clues and 16-year-old Amir even used one puzzle as a team building activity of his own, bringing together members of his bunk at camp this past summer.

At the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, some of the guests received a bottle of wine as a token of Dave and Jen’s appreciation. But not just any bottle of wine – this one was encased in a contraption made of wood and string that proved to be a puzzle waiting to be cracked before the cork could be popped.

Dave and Jen’s relationship was born and evolved around the business of writing clues. The two met at a post-hunt social hour and took off when Dave was heading out to create a hunt in Dallas and playfully suggested Jen could come along. She did, and after sneaking off to write a personal hunt for Dave, she knew that “this is the guy.” Dave says in pure puzzle-making spirit, that “as challenging as relationships are, I realized that with Jen I would gladly take up all challenges. That’s when I knew we should get married.”
 
When the big day itself finally arrived, the puzzle merriment continued unabated. The ceremony program listed not only who the groomsmen and maids of honor were, but included another rebus which Amir and his 14-year-old sister Merav solved in short order. The clue contained the phone number of Dave and Jen’s answering machine which in turn played a message instructing callers to look behind a bust of Shakespeare – the ceremony was held in the Shakespeare Garden of San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park – where a basket of Hershey’s Kisses was waiting for daring problem solvers.

The ceremony itself was similarly unconventional. The wedding was officiated by a Buddhist priest and the vows were inspired by Dave and Jen’s Buddhist practice. In addition to taking each other as husband and wife, they vowed to “support and cherish all life,” “live together with generous and open hearts,” let go of any anger or impatience and strive for equanimity,” and “keep our minds open and fresh.”

Following the ceremony it was back to puzzle solving. Dave and Jen had put together an afternoon’s simulation of a full Dr. Clue treasure hunt – three hours of clues comprising 11 separate puzzles leading us to locations around Golden Gate Park. One of the clues involved deciphering Morse code; another employed a Dave and Jen-branded secret decoder ring which paired numbers with letters. There was a puzzle with shapes and numbers, another where we had to identify pictures of different flowers, a classical music composer match up and one with misspelled world capitals. In the park, we searched for benches with inscriptions and plaques with names of fallen war heroes. We managed to solve all 11 puzzles on paper but only had time to complete 7 of the puzzles on foot – all in all, not bad I’d say.

If we thought we’d get a chance to relax a little at the reception, we were playfully mistaken. Upon entering the Bocce Café in San Francisco’s North Beach neighborhood, guests were presented with a “bingo card” with squares reading “A relative of the groom,” “has gone skydiving or bungee jumping,” “has a PhD,” and “speaks three languages,” among others. The game was to run around finding the person matching the description and get them to sign the bingo card. First ones to get five in a row won a prize (more candy Kisses).

Now, Dr. Clue is all about prodding individuals to get to know each other better, so our name tags read “ask me about…” (Jody’s read “financial planning”; we had a long conversation with a guest whose tag encouraged us to ask him about “love”). Hidden inside our name tags were colorful clues to yet another rebus which could only be solved by tables working together to swap information. The puzzle answer asked guests to take to the open microphone to offer words of advice to the newly married couple. (Dave had built a similar game for Merav’s bat mitzvah two years ago to equal aplomb.)

We paused the puzzle mongering while we ate our meal but there was one last activity saved for dessert. Instead of a single towering wedding cake, Dave and Jen had prepared 11 smaller cakes – one for each table – and then supplied guests with decorating supplies – icing, chewy cookies, and various flourishes – with which to personalize this sweetest of clues. The cake was pretty good too.

We finished the day exhausted but delighted. It was a wedding like none we’ve experienced before – and probably not like any we’ll ever attend again. It took 10 months to plan – for good reason.

Dave and Jen spent their wedding night at an undisclosed location – there were no clues to solve this time. After 12 hours of intense team building, the happy couple undoubtedly needed some alone time.

I recently turned 47 and I’m feeling old. When I was growing up, 47 would have already been “middle aged.” I’m not sure that’s still the case but just the same things have been changing for me and my body.

First off there’s my gut. It’s not huge, but it’s definitely growing. I’m eating and exercising the same, so all I can blame it on is age. I feel it when I run. It’s harder to keep up, to maintain my stamina.

When I mention it to friends they pooh-pooh me and tell me I’m still the skinniest 47-year-old they know. But after eight years of wearing the same size, my pants no longer fit. If my waist has gone up, how can it all be in my head?
 
My wife Jody bought me a present for my birthday. A gift certificate for 2 free sessions with a personal trainer. Is she trying to send me a message?

My second complaint about getting older is my eyes. The problem is distance. Recently, when we were driving home from a trip out of the city, I realized I couldn’t make out the cars in front of me, couldn’t see the signs directing us back to Jerusalem until I was nearly on top of them. We wound up pulling over so I could let Jody drive.

My optometrist says I need two pairs of glasses. That’s right, I’m going to be one of those old farts who wears his spectacles around his neck on a chain. I’ll soon be looking to raise money for a new software company I’m starting later this month. Investors expect generation y twentysomethings. How’s it going to look when this old geezer with two pairs of glasses dangling from his neck walks into the room? Checkbooks out? I don’t think so…

But the biggest sign that I’m getting old is that my darling daughter Merav, suddenly, seemingly overnight, has turned into a teenager…and she knows it. She won’t share anything about her life, indeed she’ll barely talk to us.

“How was school?”

“That’s my business and not yours.”

“Are you still friends with Daniella?”

“Talk to the hand.”

“Where are you going tonight?”

“Ooh, you’re so controlling!”

What happened to the eight year old little girl who loved to cuddle and wouldn’t go to sleep without me reading her a book for bed? How did I get old enough to even have a 14-year-old daughter? A friend once said you want to eat them up when they’re little; when they become teenagers you wish you had.

“You’ll never understand,” Merav told me. “You were never a teenager.” Doesn’t she understand I just want to be there for her, to share some of the experience I’ve gained in hindsight. I’m convinced that my life was no less a rollercoaster than hers. But trying telling that to our little “screamager.”

But 47 could also be a year of incredible opportunity. This is the year when my aforementioned web business will launch and either take off or flop. This is also the year when I am sure I will find a cure to the chronic insomnia that has plagued me for so long.

And then there was last night. As Jody and I were climbing into bed and were about to turn out the lights, Jody turned to me and in a come hither voice said, “you know….I’ve never been with a 47-year-old before…” One thing led to another and, well…

Maybe 47 won’t be so bad after all!

I've recently started writing restaurant reviews for the Global Traveler website's "eTested" column. Here are two of my more recent posts:

eTested – Joy Restaurant, Jerusalem

Every city has its trendy neighborhood, and with 42 restaurants lined up in the space of just a few short blocks, Jerusalem’s Emek Refaim Street in the modern southern part of the city fits the bill. On a warm summer night, the streets are so packed it’s hard to move, let alone get a seat at a table.

Maybe that’s why for a recent visit to the Joy Grill and Beer restaurant we opted for the business lunch. This winning establishment is memorable before the food even arrives. Set in a historic Templar building with lots of Jerusalem Stone and beautiful arches, Joy is comfortable even when crowded.

But we came for the food which did not disappoint. The business lunch, as is now the norm in Israel, consists of a main course, an appetizer, bread and coffee or tea for the regular price of entrée. The bread was a surprisingly satisfying start to our meal – a large loaf of piping hot sourdough oven baked fresh on the premises. Served with excellent antipasti, it made us look forward to what was coming next.

For my appetizer, I ordered the “rustic” chicken liver pate served on toast and jam with a side of caramelized carrots. I don’t know what was “rustic” about it, but the pate was creamy and delicious, not as distinctive as goose liver pate but nevertheless quite enticing. My companion had a cold gazpacho which was a bit bland for my taste.

For the main course, I ordered a dish with chicken, noodles, carrots, onions and cabbage in an Asian sauce. It was filling and fun, but again, not quite spicy enough for my palette. My companion’s “Joy Salad” was exquisite however. It consisted of grilled chicken breast and chicken livers on a bed of lettuce and sweet onions with liberally doused with crisp sweet potato fries (a house specialty). The portions for both were huge and we had to take some home.

For dessert we shared a chocolate Mars cake which we thought at first was a store bought Mars ice cream bar served on a nice plate with raspberry jelly, but our waitress assured us it was all homemade. It was very good in either case.

Our bill for two, with a couple of soft drinks, was NIS 140 ($33), not bad for a satisfying meal in a historic building in the trendiest part of an already historic city.

Joy
24 Emek Refaim Street
Jerusalem, Israel
02-563-0033

eTested – Maharaja Restaurant, Ramla

Ever since my wife and I spent a few weeks in India, we’ve been searching for authentic Indian food. Our quest has been made even more difficult in that we only wanted vegetarian Indian food as that’s what we ate exclusively when we were traveling in India. The Maharaja Restaurant, located off the beaten track in the small town of Ramla in central Israel, comes close.

Israel is not as surprising a location for authentic Indian food as you might think. Jews moved to India some 2,500 years ago and are considered by many to be one of the “ten lost tribes.” Most Indian Jews immigrated to Israel in the late 1940s and today the country has an Indian Jewish population of 60,000. Many live in the vicinity of Ramla. In fact, the Maharaja restaurant has an attached Indian grocery store selling items not available anywhere else in the country.

Maharaja is as unpretentious as it is authentic, a classic Indian diner down to the high backed chairs and the perfunctory service in broken English. But the ambience (or lack thereof) is made up for by the food.

We visited Maharaja as a family of five and asked the waiter to recommend the most kid friendly foods as well as a quantity that wouldn’t stuff us nor leave us pining for more.

We started with a mixed platter of appetizers which included Batata Wada (fried potato dumplings) and two kinds of Samosa dipped in a pair of coriander and tamarind sauces. They were perfectly cooked, crunchy and delicious, exactly the way we remember eating these classic Asian snacks on the streets in India.

For the main dish, we ordered the Paneer Palak, a mix of cottage cheese chunks and creamy spinach and Alu Gobi, a cauliflower and potato curry. Both were piping hot and filled with the exotic flavors we had come to love from our travels. We scooped it all up with rice and chapatti, a thin Indian bread.

When the kids finished the bread faster than the main dishes, we ordered a platter of Puni, essentially fried dough so puffed up and thin it practically dissolves to the touch.

We were all too stuffed to order the desserts which were on display in the grocery store and included Gulab Jamun, Malpua and Burfi. The sweetest part of the meal, however, was clearly the price: only $45 for a family of five!

Maharaja is not on the main tourist routes in Israel. But if you’re traveling from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, it’s a short jaunt off the main highway, near Ben Gurion Airport and well worth the trek.

Maharaja
100 Herzl St.
Ramle, Israel
08-922-3534

Options for modern religious education for girls in Jerusalem just got a whole lot more interesting with the recent openings of two new schools this fall, both backed by immigrants from North America.

The modern Orthodox Shalom Hartman Institute, which trains rabbis, teachers and scholars from Israel and the Diaspora in a pluralistic environment and which has run a popular boys’ junior and senior high school since the mid-1990s, opened seventh, eighth and ninth grade classes in September.

Beverly Gribetz, an innovative educator who served as the popular principal of the Evelina de Rothschild girls school, also opened a new school this month, in this case for grades nine and ten.

The two announcements have put pressure on the existing girls high schools catering to modern Orthodox students in Jerusalem. Both Hartman and Tehilla, the name for Gribetz’s school, are decidedly liberal, offering girls opportunities to both study Talmud and lead prayer services. Other girls schools catering to a non-ultra Orthodox crowd in Jerusalem include the prestigious Pelech School, the Omaniyot Torah and Arts High School, Rabbi Shlomo Riskin’s Ohr Torah, and Gribetz’s former alma mater Evelina de Rothschild.

The Shalom Hartman Institute was founded by former Montreal pulpit Rabbi Professor David Hartman in 1976, and the new Hartman girls school is headed by his son Rabbi Professor Donniel Hartman, co-director of the Hartman Institute, and Dr. Chana Kehat, who founded the feminist religious organization Kolech (in Hebrew: “her voice”). The school will be based on the proven track record of the boys school with which it shares some facilities.

Kehat says the new school will be “Orthodox but open-minded,” and will employ a critical approach to the study of Jewish texts, along with the inclusion of volunteer work in the daily schedule, all elements that have made the boys school a top choice for modern religious families. A new program will bring a revolutionary sex education curriculum –one of the first ever for religious schools in Israel – to both the boys and girls.

Hartman is being careful not to call its new offering a “school,” but rather a “track.” The Israeli Education Ministry has a longstanding history of hostility towards new schools in Jerusalem. Donniel Hartman explained during an open house earlier this year that the educational authorities initially saw no need for new schools in the city, claiming there are enough seats in religious classrooms to accommodate all students. That seemed disproved by the turn out at the Hartman introductory evening: 120 chairs were set up; over 400 students and parents packed the house.

Ultimately, Hartman has been designated a savior of sorts for the Evelina school which has absorbed the biggest blow in enrollment following the opening of the new girls options in the city. Hartman has taken over some of Evelina’s facilities and faculty with the intention to eventually phase out the 148-year-old Jerusalem institution entirely within a few years.

Tehilla’s new principal, the American-born Gribetz, who headed up the junior high at Ramaz, a modern Orthodox high school in New York City, and who has taught at the Pardes Institute of Jewish Studies and Pelech since immigrating to Israel in 1977, has seen her share of opposition from the Education Ministry as well. In September 2005 she opened a first incarnation of her Tehilla school...without formal approval from the Education Ministry.

“Opening a school without a license is not unusual,” one Tehilla parent commented and, generally, the Ministry turns a blind eye. Not in Gribetz’s case: Tehilla lasted less than two months before being shut down.

The closure order seemed less motivated by protocol and more by the Education Ministry’s apprehension towards Gribetz’s vocal attempts to shake up the religious girls education system and import what the Ministry feared would be “foreign” concepts to education in Israel. At Evelina, for example, Gribetz introduced a wide range of subjects into the curriculum including Arabic, drama and sport, raised a not insignificant amount of money overseas, and transformed the school’s declining reputation. The Education Ministry said in a statement that “Ms. Gribetz's views and ideas were not included in our considerations for rejecting her request.” Gribetz has since received a court ruling allowing the opening of her new school.

Tehilla will emphasize a creative approach to learning and Gribetz has talked about bringing in well-known rabbis and professors to teach the girls Talmud as well as professional musicians and artists to run those respective programs. Admission to Tehilla is not based on grades. That’s in part because Gribetz also wants an “integrated” school with students from a wide spectrum of religious and socio-economic backgrounds, an antidote to the avowedly elitist Pelech.

Tehilla’s integrationist approach, ironically, may lead to the school becoming less pluralistic than Gribetz herself might prefer. When asked whether the school will have girls Torah readings, Gribetz equivocated, saying it will be up to the community to decide and that the school will be sensitive to families from more traditional backgrounds.

That’s not the case at Hartman which has committed itself to prayer opportunities for girls and even accepted a girl who puts on tefillin – in strictly Orthodox circles a practice reserved only for bar mitzvah and older boys – and whose mother is a well-known Jerusalem-based Jewish Renewal Rabbi.

Any way you look at it, education for religious girls in Jerusalem may never be the same.